a riddle

what do monkeys, chicken pox, a lost digital camera, warm, salty water and Miami have in common?

OK OK enough

So I have been talking all about the wonderful world of unemployment. But you know what??!!! Work has finally picked up for me, YAY! So let's take a break from the ways I spend my unemployed days and I'll tell you a short story....

Once upon a time......

I went up to visit some family that I have in NorCal over the summer. We planned on a nice weekend of Napa Valley, good food and reminiscing. The flight from LA to any of the bay area airports is no longer than an hour and 20 minute commute. As soon as you're up, you're heading back down. It's great.

Shortly after I was picked up from the airport, at what I remember to be the first or second red light, I witnessed a vial and disturbing sight. I looked to my right to discover that the well-dressed man in his early 30's one car over was delightfully picking his nose. Now I am no stranger to the car picker. I've seen it in all types of cars, on many different freeways, in many different states (I've taken a lot of road trips in my day). But nothing was as appalling as what I witnessed this beautiful morning. You see, this well-dressed man looked as though he was in between meetings, driving from one to the next, and most likely there were probably a few hands left for him to shake that day. This still isn't the reason I am utterly disgusted. Before I could finish saying "oh my god that man is up to his wrist digging for treasure!" is when it happened...he fucking ATE IT! Oh yes my friends, our well dressed business man had another agenda for that booger. "Why not eat it?", he thought. So herein lies my next thought, does this man have a wife or girlfriend? Is he on his way to meet her for lunch? (he did just start without her though) Is he on his way home cause he had a half day? Why do I ask these questions? Well, if any of the above is true he probably would greet his sweetheart with a kiss and I only wonder if she knows that she is in love with a booger-eater. My condolences to her.

So car pickers, I know your out there (I can see you cause your windows aren't tinted), whatever you want to do in your car is your business, pick away. But if you can't resist the urge to snack on your findings, please put it on the dashboard and save it for the driveway or garage.

Thanks.

You're not alone

I was heading to work on a photo shoot in Malibu for a photographer friend of mine. On the beautiful morning drive up the PCH we decided to stop at a pricey organic grocery store (think Whole Foods and add in some Malibu ) and grab some breakfast in bar form. Upon check out I was still grabbing a bottle of water when my friend was waiting for me to add my items so we could pay together. That's when it dawned on me.....

There was a man, early to mid thirties, dressed in that casual, rolled-out-of bed, my clothes may look like I bought them from goodwill but still cost more than your rent for 2 months way that many people in LA seem to pull off. He was good looking, OK, GREAT looking. Hot, surfer hot and in my world that's the creme de la creme. So I was immediately putting 2 and 2 together the way I normally do....

1. as I mentioned, this man is hot

2. we are in a posh grocery store

3. in Malibu

4. on a mid-Monday morning what does it equal? this man is unemployed too. But not in the sense that I am unemployed, oh no! Unemployed to him probably means cutting back on Nobu to only a few times a month.

He looked to me like an one of those people you know is paid for their looks. Whether it was modeling or acting, that's what he's in LA for. And since I assume he lives in the hills of one of the world's most famous beaches, I am also led to assume he's had some great success with his beauty.

Ahhhhh Los Angeles, is there any other place in the world quite like you? With your over priced real estate over looking miles of sprawling beaches and glittery metropolis, your over nipped, over tucked, over stuffed, and over tanned women, your fancy cars and expensive t-shirts, pricey coffee, and the vast sea of wait staff dying to be the next celebrity gossip story, and the modern day glutendairysugar-free, raw, vegan shoe-wearing hippies. You are all beautiful people. You make the world a better, more entertaining, creative and healthy place. I salute you!

It may seem as though I am being sarcastic, but I am quite the opposite. Since living here for 7 years I have learned many things about living. Mostly about diet and health that only LA could have taught me. At times I love LA as much as I hate it. But had I not been in that store in Malibu that sunny Monday morning, I would have never realized how much I have become a part of LA. Since having so much time on my hands being unemployed I have let this strange city get into my blood. And to be honest....I kind of like it.

But seriously, doesn't ANYBODY work these days?

Off to acupuncture and power yoga I go.......

Procrastination will get you no where.

So I started this blog with the intention of updating it regularly. I had a blog a few years ago with the same intention. I posted 3 entries and called it quits. When I recently started this blog, I made a deal with myself that I wasn't going to be a quitter. There are many things in my life that I start and never finish. Or I get myself involved in some kind of hobby, try to make it be something that I can do for the rest of my life, but then I get bored out of my mind and have to move on to something else. My storage room in my apartment is home to many of these "hobbies". One can go back there and find many large storage bids each filled materials including anything to paint or draw with, jewelry making supplies, feathers to make hair accessories, a kit to make belt buckles in which I have been using my boyfriends photography for, screen printing supplies which includes a rather heavy screen printing press. You can check them all out here, however all you will find is 1 screen printed hoodie because, again....I have lost interest. Sure my friends and family love my art and encourage me to keep it up, but I'm bored. But it seems as though I could start an after school arts and crafts program for the local school children.

The rest of the apartment is littered with books, turntables for becoming the next hot girl DJ, various surfboards for any and all types of waves, and photography equipment. The books, a few records, 1 surfboard and 1 camera are mine, the rest are my boyfriend's. He's part of my problem, having a list of hobbies and interests that stretches down the block.

I am the type of person that wants to try everything, but I also want to be instantly good at everything. So herein lies my dilemma. Even typing this post I kept starting and stopping...seriously, it's Tuesday morning, I started this post on Monday morning.

This past weekend I was with some friends and family. One of my friends just passed her boards to become a certified family and marriage therapist. This was a HUGE accomplishment for her because she has worked for 9 long hard years of schooling and 3000 apprenticing hours for little to no pay. Her goal all along was to start her own practice and now she is on the road to making that happen. I think she is amazing because again, I ask myself the question...."why can't you just find something you love and stick with it?"

That was my friend. Now my cousin on the other hand is kind of just like me. She has a job she loves and will probably stick with for the rest of her working years. She is very disciplined in her work. But her personal life is where the ball is often dropped. She has many incomplete tasks lying in piles around her house. Books never finished or never even started, organization of important papers and junk mail left for weeks, and just taking any free time for herself to relax and unwind is usually interrupted by some thing or someone else. She even went so far as to buy a book to help her "get things done" and she never finished reading it. Sound familiar? I guess it runs in my family.

The one thing I do have that my cousin doesn't is the *will* to organize and take time for myself whether that is reading or doing yoga. And this all comes back to the fact that I am unemployed and she is fully employed. Having A LOT of free time on my hands I am able to explore my options. This is something that is positive about being unemployed. And these days I need to get my positivity where I can. I am trying out new things in my search to please my boredom. I am also hoping I find something that I love and that I can somehow get paid for it.

So whether it stems from family or is fed by my boyfriend, I have issues. I really want to be able to wrap my mind around the concept of sticking with something. But what and when will it be? How many more things can I explore? How much more money will I spend to get myself there? And does anyone have any new ideas or suggestions for me?

And the quest continues.................

A question....

If a breathalyzer is given to you as a Christmas gift, is it a huge wake-up call or a very thoughtful gift?

My Cheapness almost killed someone

I just finished both a cardio session and followed with a 90 minute power yoga class so my brain is a little fried. The parking lot across the street from the studio offers 2 hours free parking. I was minutes away from that expiring and having to pay $1. (I'm unemployed, every dollar counts. Trust me it sucks.) So what did I do?!? I did what any cheap bastard would, pulled out of my parking spot like I was about to pay $1000 instead of a measly $1. I did look back, I didn't see any cars or people so I went. But then I get a knock on my passenger side window that scares the namaste out of me. There stood a girl with a big smile on her face and a yoga mat in her hand. She says, through smile, "you almost ran me over!" Of course I apologize at my stupidity but she laughs and says it's no problem!!! NO PROBLEM?! I would have been pissed. But she had just came from the same class as me and she was probably feeling good and fried as well. Anyway, I made my way to pay and of course I didn't make the 2 hour cut off. But my cheap self didn't care anymore, I almost killed the poor girl! So I pay with a 10 and after pulling away I count my change, 8 ones. 8 ONES!!! The cashier was $1 short.....my cheap self came right back.

Things to do when you're unemployed

Look for a job

Clean every corner of house

Reorganize every closet and shelf space

Donate old clothes to Goodwill

Paint a piece of furniture

Go to the beach

Surf

Fuss over the fact that your landlord sucks

Watch every episode of Seinfeld for the 437th time in your life

Teach pilates

Look for a job

Watch the same movies on HBO

Watch shows you never thought you would waste your time on

(I'm watching TV, instead of working in TV, sad)

Clean fridge

Organize bills

Organize receipts

Wax bikini

Read

Go see great documentaries like the cove and food, inc.

Visit with friends

Visit family

Hang with friends at a swank West Hollywood hotel pool

Drink wine

Drink vodak

Drink and Promote MonaVie (I'm a distributor, I'll hook you up with the good stuff)

Look for a job

Not spend money

Go to opening day at the Del Mar race track

Make belt buckles with my boyfriends photography

Go on facebook

Read erinire's blog

Yoga, Yoga, Yoga

Look up exotic places to travel

Learn Spanish with Rosetta Stone

Take pictures

Clean freezer

Check out perezhilton.com i know, i know it's terrible

Do-it-yourself mani/pedi

Shampoo carpets

Do a hair mask, this stuff is the shit!

Do a MonaVie face mask, that's right you can drink it and use it on your skin, oh yea!

Create a blog

Update blog

tell people to read blog

I must be putting some sort of vibe out there cause as I was typing this list, I got a call for work